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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a teacher and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four..."

"I hope there's a scientist somewhere in the world right now working on a way for Coldplay to get more whoa-oh-ohs into a 3 minute pop song."

"Build a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day.. Light a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

"What do you call a mob of armed lesbians? Militia Etheridge"

"Im going to make a joke about Polish people They're shiny"

"*driving my date to the ER* I told you my possum doesn't like direct eye contact. This one is on you."

"A lion wouldn't cheat on his wife but a Tiger Wood"

"You ever bark back at your dog and then wonder what you just said?"

"IT AND LIGHT BULBS Q: How many IT guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, that's a Facilities problem."

"What do you get if you cross a steer and a chicken? Roost beef!"