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Joke of the Day

"Upon seeing my wife and my mate fucking in our bed, I noticed that they made a very beautiful couple. So I clubbed them together"

"The one huge advantage of being dumb ... you never overthink things."

"No, I don't hate you. I promise. Cross my heart and hope you die."

"I've had intimate problems all my life. I just can't get close to someone without feeling insecure. You said internet problems? Nevermind."

"Velcro What a rip off. Joke by Tim Vine."

"Yea, go ahead and destroy that spider's web. It's not like he spent a week making it so he can kill bugs that are in your house. Asshole."

"Realized I never said ""unquote"" after reciting a famous poem in 10th grade. Sorry if you thought everything I've said since is Shakespeare"

"What do you call an army of gorilla soldiers? Boko Harambe."

"Why didn't the cellphone attend the wedding? He heard the reception was going to be terrible..."

"How do you know a cat is ready to leave? He makes a fe-line for the door."