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Joke of the Day

"Girls at hooters may be hot. but when it comes down to it, the ladies at subway are the real wife material.."

"Yo Momma so Fat When she met Stevie Wonder backstage. He was like ""Who brought a goddamned bouncy castle in here!"""

"I'm just like every other man... I do my taxes one leg at a time!"

"What's black & white and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a javelin through her neck."

"Credit card fraud is wrong. Unless you're poor & really horny & think a rich guy wont notice a $20/month fee for your amputee fetish."

"Let's begin by pushing a Nickleback album onto every ISIS phone."

"[OC] What did the blind plumber say? I cant see shit."

"Sprayed a spider with some Davidoff Cool Water & it didn't die. Now I'm just stuck with a spider that I wanna bang."

"Don't call me "" bae "" "" baby "" "" babe "" or "" love "" unless I'm the ONLY ONE you're calling that."

"My book fell from above and hit me on my head All I can do is blame my shelf"