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Joke of the Day

"[texting my girlfriend] wyd? ""Just finished my homework"" Cool, Send a pic (; ? *gf sends a nude* Ewww wtf!! i meant of your homework!"

"You don't love Dunkin' Donuts coffee, you love heavy cream."

"Why was six afraid of seven Because Jenny is a hoe"

"It appears we have reached that day once again where all the Irish people get drunk and start fights tonight and skip work tomorrow. Monday."

"Why was the dog so depressed? He was having a hard time looking up."

"How many times do you have to tickle a squid to make it laugh? ten tickles"

"There are two types of people in this world: Those that CAN gather information from incomplete data"

"I have seagull managers. They swoop in, screech like hell, shit all over everything, then fly away."

"So in 2016 I've decided to leave all the negative people behind. So im sorry if i owe you money because im moving on from that now."

"A Jew walks into a bar... ...and leaves"