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Joke of the Day
"Why was the robber bionic? He was holding up a bank."
Next Joke
"Ladies, they're called ""Skinny Jeans."" Not ""Makes You Skinny Jeans."""
"What a bad year... Still can't believe they changed the Instagram logo"
"When do you use duct tape on a duck? When he's quacked."
"Ladies, holding out on sex with your man to get what you want will not work. He will just take longer showers."
"Live each day as if everyone loves you because self-delusion is underrated as a coping mechanism."
"A kid goes up to his dad with a question... ""Dad, can I ask you something?"" ""Of course."" ""You and mom are both white, but I'm black. Why?"" ""That party was so wild, it's a wonder you don't bark."""
"I've just text my new girlfriend that I'm into all sorts of douchebaggery. Autocorrect clearly has a different idea on what debauchery is."
"Hell is an eternity of being sober in a room full of drunk people."
"My kids are playing cowboys and Indians. One is pretending to ride a horse and shoot stuff, the other is providing tech support."