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Joke of the Day

"My dog walked across my laptop keyboard and mashed a bunch of keys, but I didn't delete it because it's better than anything I wrote today."

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"Who makes more money, a hooker, or a drug dealer? The hooker, because she can wash her crack and sell it again"
"Why did the chicken cross the bridge? To get away from the Turkey coop."
"Why do gas prices end with 9/10 of a penny? It just makes cents."
"Sex jokes Are Not Funny Come on guys."
"COP: drop the gun CRIMINAL: no COP: [flipping through police handbook, whispers to partner] it doesnt say what to do if he says no"
"I have a photographic memory it just hasn't developed yet"
"Starbucks coffee and Adam Hills. ""Going to Starbucks for coffee is like going to prison for sex. You're going to get it, but its going to be rough."" Adam Hills"
"If a mad scientist ever clones me, throw a cube of cheese in the air. The faster one is me."
"People tend to put their faith in a higher power. But to me that's just a primitive solution."