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Joke of the Day

"I joined Twitter to have something to do while I waited for the repairman. It's only been 3 years, he should be here any month now."

"I got together with a pig and... I think she's my Sowmate. ( ^ @ ^ )"

"Whats the best thing about having sex with a pregnant woman? You get pussy and head at the same time."

"How did Reggie Rocket's brother die? Otto Erocket Asphyxiation"

"Have you heard the ""good news"" about Jesus? It's his daughter's quinceanera today so he can't do our lawn"

"""For every action there is an unequal and opposite overreaction."" - Newton's law of the Internet"

"Why can't dwarfs sing? Because they can't reach the high notes. Bonus: how does dwarves communicate? Smalltalk."

"Teacher: Can anyone give me the name of a liquid that won't freeze ? Pupil: Hot water !"

"Which article of clothing is the most ghetto? A Hoodie."

"Past, present and future walked into a bar It was tense"