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Joke of the Day

"My friend's mum has a saying ""40 is the new 30"". Lovely woman. Banned from driving though."

"A chemist walks into a bar and orders a glass of h2o... The next guy in line says, ""I'll have a glass of h2o, too."" He died shortly after."

"Why did the Walrus go to the tupperware party? He was looking for a tight seal."

"They say there are no stupid questions, but in every meeting there is one person who tries to prove this incorrect."

"$100 dollar bill.... a guy leaves of a building and looks up and says that $100 bill is mine, that $100 dollar bill is mine, and dies crushed by a mattress."

"What do bunnies do when they get married? Go on a bunnymoon"

"A drunk homeless guy wanted to fight me yesterday As soon as he kicked me and lost his shoe I could smell defeat."

"me: Hi it is nice to meet u. I am Jeff date: Are u reading off notecards M: Yes sex at ur place sounds gr-wait crap these are out of order"

"A sentence and a phrase is arguing, what did the sentence say? I know where you're coming from this phrase, but I can't see your point."

"How does Seth Macfarlane wishes you Eid Mubarrak? Keep it in church, guys."