207914

Joke of the Day

"I always give 110%. Oops. Left out the decimal point. I always give 1.10%."

"Nike's thought when considering whether or not to participate in the FIFA bribe scandal... Just do it"

"they probably named the Rocky mountains first and then saw all the other mountains and were like ""oh"""

"My high school girlfriend got ""uses her kids as her facebook profile picture"" fat."

"Shout-out to everyone who is struggling with establishing their identity. You know who you are."

"How do we know dolphins are the only other animals that have sex for pleasure? They pull out."

"What signal tells you that a politician is lying? The lips are moving"

"A co-worker is retiring, so they're passing a card around filled with cash. I only took $10 but normally my signature is worth much more."

"I don't know what's longer: a microwave minute or a treadmill minute..."

"A T-100 is sent back to 2016 to terminate Trump and Clinton. Who survives? Not the next redditor to post a fucking 'America' version of the disaster set up."