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Joke of the Day

"A husband and wife are getting married.... Minister: And now your wedding vows Groom: A E I O U Bride: Omg do u ever take anything seriously? Groom: sometimes....why?"

"What's the difference between a wife and a girlfriend? About 45 pounds."

"Serial Killer... The police have caught a serial killer with a really bad stammer. They said it'll be a while before he finishes his sentence."

"She is not my reword, I am her punishment."

"You know what cats don't like? Blow dryers. You know what's funny? Pointing your blow dryer at your cat. Anyway, I lost an eye today."

"I can't believe christmas is 364 days away... And people already have their decorations up."

"What do Hispanic parents say to teach their son to drive? Jesus, take the wheel!"

"What did the first lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire? See you next month!"

"When a bite of food falls off your plate... And you just stare at it on the ground like, ""We could've made each other happy..."""

"New Girlfriend (56) -- Postponed due to rain NOTICE: New Girlfriend (56) will be made up next Wednesday as part of a double header along with New Girlfriend (57)."