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Joke of the Day

"Short joke A priest, rapist and comedian walk into a bar, then the barman says: 'God are you fucking kidding me?!'"

"Ok doc, give it to me straight. ""It's cancer"" How bad? ""Really bad, you have 2 months."" OMG ""APRIL FOOLS!"" Whew- ""You have 2 days."""

"What's the difference between a Trump and an athlete? Athletes know when to stop running."

"What does a terrorist and a cue ball have in common? The harder you hit them the more english you get."

"What is green and pecks on trees ? Woody Wood Pickle !"

"i am practicing how to die in photogenic positions"

"My wife just got breast implants made out of oak I don't think I could do that, I think it'd hurt, wooden tit?"

"Facebook definitely needs to change their name. Pretty sure books aren't supposed to make you dumber."

"Just got a holiday card from a doctor addressed to the dead guy who used to live here. Sending back a card that says ""You suck at your job."""

"Which disease do hobbits fear the most? The Bilbonic plague."