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Joke of the Day

"Short joke A priest, rapist and comedian walk into a bar, then the barman says: 'God are you fucking kidding me?!'"

"I made a false deity out of bubble wrap today I call Him Pop Idol"

"Maybe artists wouldn't be so starving all the time if they'd just eat all that fruit they're always painting."

"What do you call a boomerang that won't come back? A stick."

"I bought my friend an elephant for his room... He said, ""Thanks"". I said, ""Don't mention it""."

"If I washed my dick 100 times, would you suck it? -No? -You dirty cocksucker you."

"TIL that DNA originally stood for National Dyslexic Association"

"[2 friends fighting at Denny's] Chicken: *gritting teeth* I'll have the bacon Pig: *staring down the chicken* And I'll be having the EGGS!"

"Girls are a lot like universities... I spend hours looking at them, only to realise I can't get into any of them."

"Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench... A man wearing a long raincoat approaches, opens it and flashes them. Two of the ladies immediately have a stroke. The third couldn't reach."