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Joke of the Day

"I could probably survive about a week in the wilderness eating only the food I spill on my shirt any given day."

"Was starting to get romantic with a woman last night As usual I began crying uncontrollably. After getting home it took forever to wash the pepper spray off."

"I lost my mood ring... And I don't know how I feel about that."

"What's the highest point in the ocean? The Marijuanas Trench."

"University.... Close to being unemployed but with your parents still being proud of you"

"Wrong hole! It's too tight! -me putting on my watch, you pervs"

"There's no reason to be tailgating me when I'm doing 50 in a 35. And those flashing lights on top of your car looks ridiculous!"

"why is it called bacon if you fry it"

"wh is bhdiffrnece bet?wen corn it's the method"

"'This is the greatest thing since sliced bread!' Sliced bread peeks around corner, tears streaming, it was in the tv room & heard EVERYTHING"