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Joke of the Day

"How man Sah Dudes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None fam it's already lit! Sah duude!"

"Hey girl, do you like bad boys? *tries to look cool by flicking my cig, but it's an e-cig so I have to run and get it*"

"TIL that the famous teacher Anne Sullivan once accidentally taught the wrong class after the legitimate teacher couldn't make it and the alternate teacher was late. Whoops, wrong sub"

"Why did you drive the lawn mower over your Easter basket? I thought the plastic grass was growing too high!"

"Religion vs science? Science flies you to the moon. Religion flies you into buildings"

"I like pressing f5. It's so refreshing."

"After a thorough diagnosis, my doctor couldn't figure out the cause of my uncontrolled flatulence... When I asked him what the problem was, he told me ""Your gas is as good as mine."""

"I spent too much money on video games this month. All of my savings have gone up in steam."

"Just watched a guy walk out of the tanning place and immediately light a cigarette. Slow down, buddy. Don't get all the cancer today!"

"I really want to buy one of those grocery checkout dividers but the lady behind the counter keeps putting it back"