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Joke of the Day

"I don't make typos. I make new words."

"What disease do elderly dinosaurs get? Jurassic Parkinsons"

"I spilled a whole case of forks today..... ...you could say I forked up real bad"

"Lovey dovey couples look best when viewed through the scope of a high powered rifle."

"How many potatoes does it take to kill an irishman? 0"

"Weird how people think I won't summon Satan when they talk to me while chewing."

"Never treat a lady like an object It hates that"

"""open up, this is the police!"" ""well, I've felt alone since my girlfriend left me, I'm sad all the time-"" ""no the door open up the door"""

"I'm torn between having wish you were here' or look behind you' engraved on my headstone."

"Sorry I made fun of your erectile dysfunction,,, I hope there's no hard feelings"