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Joke of the Day

"I have stopped debating with master since the day ... ... I subscribed /r/nofap. Got to keep up with the community."

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"A bumblebee, a spelling bee and a vitamin B got in a fight The vitamin B1"
"PS3 messin around I need a picture of a 16 year old girl that is believable, not suspicious. Please don't ask why, I'm just a bit messed up in the brain"
"What town in the continental United States produces the most alligator pears per year? Avo, CA does."
"Do you know why I pulled you over? ""Yes, because I was driving a motorized toilet."" I meant this time ""Oh. No."" Please step out of the oven."
"Unless you are a pregnancy test, take your negativity somewhere else."
"My girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, i thought she was joking.. ..and then i saw her face."
"Make love to a woman's mind, and her body will follow in kind"
"TRUE FRIENDSHIP: Walking into a persons house and your wifi connects automatically."
"It's oddly fitting that most Americans celebrate Presidents' Day by taking the day off and not doing the job they were hired to do."