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Joke of the Day

"At Walmart checkout other day:Cashier: ""you have a dog?"" Scanning dog food.Hubz: No, our kid needs the protein."

"I'm going to the hospital tomorrow...not because I'm sick, but because they have free pudding if you're fast enough."

"Whenever I'm in a difficult situation, I think, ""What would I do?"" so I can do the opposite thing"

"Why did the fish sink? (This joke composed by my seriously autistic friend Neil, who LOVES jokes) Because it was a brick."

"What's a blonde with a shotgun in wheat field? .. A cereal killer !"

"What do books and sex have in common? They both have a climax."

"Shake what your momma gave ya! *shakes old decorative wreath* (pine needles and holly berries go everywhere)"

"Why were Popeye's forearms so big? Because Olive Oyl was saving herself for marriage."

"What makes a Mexican saddest about the rise of ebooks? The closing of the Borders."

"Cop: Are you drunk? Me: Could a drunk person do this? *I just piss my pants* Cop: WOW. Yes actually. Me: That was supposed to be a backflip"