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Joke of the Day

"I took a biology exam the other day. The test asked me to list two things that are commonly found in cells. Apparently blacks and mexicans was not the right answer."

"What's black and never works? Decaf coffee."

"What is the best way for a pet shop to get business? Word of mouse."

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's a really obscure number. You've probably never heard of it."

"Some days I think my mental health is coming along nicely, other days I'm vaguely jealous of turtles."

"I asked my priest which musical instruments he plays. ""Mostly just piano,"" he replied, ""but when I'm at work I sometimes dabble with a little organ."""

"What's a pirate's least favorite letter? Dear sir, Your internet access has been terminated due to illegal usage. Sincerely, your service provider."

"Who is an archaeologist? One whose career is in ruins."

"If children refuse to sleep during nap time... ...are they guilty of resisting a rest?"

"For what it's worth, I'd like to exchange some foreign currency."