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Joke of the Day

"Enough with the fist bumping. I never understand what is happening. This time I held my hands open because I thought he was giving me M&Ms"

"What was the main difference between the war in Vietnam and the war in Iraq? George Bush had a plan to get out of Vietnam."

"I don't have the faintest idea why I passed out Just a short pun"

"My idea of heaven consists of all of the things I'd go to hell for."

"What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say? We're closed beat it."

"Ill draw a drawer But I won't doodle a doodle."

"Did you hear that they upgraded the lighting system on the Goodyear blimp? Now they call it the LED zeppelin."

"I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office."

"Just because I don't talk to you, or text you first, doesn't mean I don't miss you. I'm just waiting for you to miss me."

"What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't"