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Joke of the Day

"And on the 32nd day, God had forgotten to end his free trial, so he was charged for the month."

"I hate my new Haircut!! ... But it'll grow on me =D Do you get it?"

"According to every 80s movie ever, the only way to get home from school is by standing up in the back of a Jeep Wrangler with 5 other people"

"Hitler didn't like oranges. He hated the juice."

"Irritating friend: I passed your house yesterday. Me: Thanks. I really appreciate that."

"If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?"

"Q: Did you hear about the new blonde paint? A: It's not real bright but it's cheap and spreads easy."

"Did you hear about the crazy Mexican train theif? He has loco motives."

"ME: my wife eats all the caramel corn and leaves the cheese JUDGE: give this man full custody of the kids ME: no wait they do the same thing"

"Speed dating, but instead of talking, you just exchange phones for 3 minutes and try to glean as much information from them as you can."