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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a psychic midget on the run from the law? A small medium at large!!"
Next Joke
"A cool thing about me is that I have 3 academic degrees and only several more dollars in the bank"
"Why don't astronauts keep their jobs very long? Because as soon as they start they get fired."
"What do you call the CFO of a landscaping company? A hedge fund manager"
"Telling a woman to get back in the kitchen is a weird insult to lob on Twitter. We can still tweet from kitchens. We have wifi & data plans."
"Everybody made fun of how I lost a race to the fat kid in school. If only my wheelchair was faster."
"school sucks 2/10 stars would not recommend"
"Instead of politely knocking on the bathroom door, my kid attacks the door like a rookie DEA agent on his first raid"
"In Massachusetts you can't buy liquor before noon on Sundays. But bless your raging alcoholic heart for trying."
"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you've got 5 more rounds in the chamber. You'll get that moon eventually. He'll pay for what he did."