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Joke of the Day

"When your world is falling apart, when it seems like things can't get any worse, please remember...I don't give a shit."

"Wanted: Someone to hand feed me Doritos so my fingers don't get orange. No weirdos."

"When I was a kid my Fairy-Godmother asked me if I wanted a long penis or a long memory I can't remember what did I chose!"

"Have you ever heard of Christmas Adam? It comes before Eve and isn't nearly as satisfying"

"[Cruise ship] ""HELP! THIS MAN HAD A HEART ATTACK"" - I think I can help *frantically covers him in all the life vests* cmon do your stuff"

"So an Alzheimer's patient was telling a joke... Clarence, is that you?"

"How many Mexicans are needed to change a light bulb? Juan."

"I dont care about all the ISIS jokes They all blow up."

"So I got caught copying my friends test in class... I think the teacher heard my Xerox machine."

"What did Abraham Lincoln say after recovering from a 3-day drinking binge? *""I set* ***who*** *free?""*"