142009

Joke of the Day

"Yoda: Clouded, your future is. Anakin: Are you smoking pot again? Yoda: Six cheeseburgers, I want."

"I hate making spelling mistakes. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined."

"My teacher pointed at me with...... My teacher pointed at me with his ruler and said ""at the end of this ruler is and idiot!"" I got detention after I asked him which end he was referring to."

"There's one way that jared joker can be better than Heath's. Just put a smile on his face with he's own knife."

"I think one of the toughest parts about growing up is realizing that you don't sweat blue if you drink blue Gatorade."

"Jackie Chan is implicated in the Panama Leaks. This must be some sort of kung-fulery."

"what did the hat say to the other hat? ""you go on ahead."" I'd like to thank Twitternation, Steve Wozniak, Adam Schefter, @MattGroening and anyone else who helped me achieve this great feat!"

"Toaster Settings: 1) I do nothing. 2) I do nothing. 3) I SET THE BREAD ON FIRE!"

"Exposure has never been higher, tourism Sierra Leone created ebola... The most effective 'viral' marketing campaign of all time."

"I wasn't on the Titanic but my iPhone just dropped to 2% so I think I get the gist."