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Joke of the Day

"My Grandad used to tell me a story about how he once saw a Polar Bear fall from a great height ...He said it was a great ice breaker *ba-dum-tschh*"

"How many spiders does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two."

"I just went to the Air & Space museum. Boy do I feel ripped off. It was just an empty room."

"How do you compliment a girl with a cold sore? You tell her that her smile is contagious."

"Did you hear about new product out from Tampax? The iPad."

"Squad goals: To have a squad"

"What was Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination? HAND EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYE."

"What is it about being blind... ...that makes people want to walk their dog so much?"

"Why did the pope have so many children? Because his condom was a little holy..."

"Bicyclists, it's one thing to hog the road, but it's quite another to expect us to know your fancy hand signals. Also, I can see your balls."