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Joke of the Day

"Sorry the edible underwear weren't edible anymore by the time you tried to eat them. It was a long drive to your apartment."

"What do you call a soldier with long arms? An army soldier"

"Last night I dreamt that I wrote 'Lord of the Rings'. I realized I was just Tolkien in my sleep..."

"When does one play a corny game? You play it by ear."

"How do you keep an idiot in suspense?"

"The girl at the table next to me is having a salad. Not as a starter, but as a main course like some kind of rabbit."

"Police officer: ""Can you identify yourself, sir?"" Driver pulls out his mirror and says: ""Yes, it's me"""

"My son managed to lock the car with my keys still in the ignition. He suggest a coat hanger. I said we're a few years too late for that."

"I was going to make a joke about a carp that had hands But it was too metacarpal."

"Did you hear about the antennas that got married? The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent."