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Joke of the Day

"NSFW What is little, red and crawling up a womans leg? A failed abortion with homesickness."

"What's the difference between light and hard? I can sleep with a light on."

"Driver "" I'm very sorry to learn that your wife ran away with your driver "" said the friend to the old man. "" oh, don't worry, I can drive """

"That Awkward Moment That awkward moment when your boobs are bouncing while running..... and you're a boy."

"What did Antonin Scalia's pathologist write in his autopsy report? Cause of death: Hippy-energy induced heart attack. Time of death: finally."

"How many skateboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in and one to film it. **Alternate Ending** One, but it takes him fifty tries."

"Have you heard Justin Bieber's song about blood types? It goes: ""A, B, AB, AB, OOOOOOO"""

"What if the Bad News Bears literally gave you bad news? Bear 1: You're adopted Bear 2: The cancer is terminal Bear 3: This tweet ain't funny"

"What's the difference between a slut and a bitch? A slut sleeps with everyone and a bitch sleeps with everyone but you."

"A student staring off in class... The teacher said to the student ""starring off into space never got anyone far in life."" The student quipped ""That's what they told Galileo."""