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Joke of the Day

"I think Australians are obsessed with true information. They keep telling me to ""get fact""."

"TIFU by mixing up my wives subway orders. I gave Lucy's to Rosa, and Rosa's to Lucy."

"*my casket slowly begins lowering into the ground* me, knocking from inside: ""Wait, I have to pee."""

"What 3 candies do you find in school? Redhots, DumDums, and smarties."

"Why some people like Donald Trump... Because he doesn't beat around the ""Bush"""

"i have claimed all of you on my taxes as a deduction so if someone else asks tell them it is too late"

"I will straight up walk into traffic to avoid a kid selling something."

"One of the best ways to disguise the sound of a fart is to do it during the 4 claps in the Friends theme song."

"The racist chainsaw when you turn it on it will roar out ""RUNNN-niggernigger!"""

"Why the hell are Zach Braff, Zach Galifianakis & Zac Efron not running around Hollywood as the ""Zach Pack""??? This needs to happen."