14115

Joke of the Day

"I can't understand how Bruce Jenner wants to become a woman The plastic surgery has got be mildly painful, but the sucking out of half the brain has got be excruciating."

"Rob somebody at gunpoint today, show the world how serious you are at nicknaming your new friend Robert."

"Do you know why W. S. Gilbert was frequently drunk on his Trans-Atlantic crossings? Because he was quartered on the port side."

"My grandpa keeps complaining to me that my generation relies too heavily on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support."

"What do you call the western half of Kenya? Kenya West"

"The lifeguard caught me peeing in the pool, today. He shouted so loud I nearly fell in."

"I was recently asked if I'd judge Mr. gay UK. I said ''It wouId be my pIeasure. It's against nature, against God, and he's going to heII.'' - Jimmy Carr"

"I wanted to get a brain transplant... But I changed my mind."

"I got an iPad from my chinese friend... I love homemade gifts!"

"I've only seen Magic Mike, can I see Magic Mike XXL... ...or do I need to see the other 28 in between first?"