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Joke of the Day
"Photographers are so violent. They'll frame you, shoot you, blow you up and then hang you."
Next Joke
"What does Egyptian airport security have in common with Los Angeles airport security? Both have LAX security."
"I think a gay guy hit on me in a bar... He was passing behind me and asked ""Do you mind if I push in your stool?"""
"SPOILER ALERT: I just had a piece of metal fitted to the back of my car to reduce drag and increase fuel efficiency."
"When you open your heart to someone, there is blood. Lots and lots of blood. And then you die. So don't open your heart."
"What did one rifle say to the other? Me llamo es 762"
"Why didn't Mark Hamill go crazy while voice acting as the Joker? Because he overcame the dark side"
"I'll vote for whichever presidential candidate promises to end the banter before two people announce who won an Emmy."
"MY WIFE: [donating blood] ME: That's from both of us"
"What are the symptoms of amnesia? I can't remember"