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Joke of the Day

"How do find the blind man at the nudist colony? It's not hard."

"Cell division, explained: o 0 8 oo"

"How many idiots does it take to change a light bulb? Five - one to hold the bulb, and four to turn his ladder"

"What do you call a snobish criminal walking down the stairs? A condescending con descending."

"Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because he didn't want to be spotted!"

"[raises hand in English class] Why do we need to be learned English? ""Hmm.. Couldn't have worded that better myself, Luke"""

"1am: Huh, I'm not tired... 2am: I feel great! Maybe I don't need sleep? 3am: LET'S EXECUTE EVERY IDEA I'VE EVER HAD. 3:04am: Euthanise me."

"NEW DRINKING GAME: 1) Put on the new Twilight movie 2) When you press play, take 59 shots of vodka so you can die before it starts."

"Saw a squirrel get hit by a car earlier.Felt kinda bad,but I don't think the squirrel gave a shit that the Smart Car was totaled."

"A guy walks into a bar. .. He's in critical condition."