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Joke of the Day

"My kid spilled milk in the back of my car last week ... Now I tell people it has a stinky dairy-air."

"What's green and bad for your eyes? An alligator."

"Starbucks coffee is disgusting. First of all it tastes like soap, second of all u have to get it from dispensers in the BATHROOM????"

"You know what grinds my gears? When I'm low on transmission fluid."

"Men are like copiers. You need them for reproduction but that's about it."

"What do you call a newborn with 3 arms? Not mine"

"Accents are important. Would you rather be touched by Jesus or Jesus?"

"I don't blame pedophiles all the time, After all, there's a child in all of us."

"Do you know the Greek version of Monopoly? It's called Monopoulos and you just borrow all the money from the bank. Everyone loses."

"[Heaven] Me: What happened? God: You were sending a DM & got hit by a bus. Me: I only have one ques- God: Sorry, man. She was totes a dude."