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Joke of the Day

"I'm shaking my hands to get my nail polish to dry and now this deaf guy outside wants to know how the story ends."

Next Joke
 
"I text-ed my girlfriend ""goodnight, love you"" but accidentally sent it to my boss. Now Its awkward, cause he holds my hand during meetings."
"Today's the day I finally get my shit togethe"
"What's my favorite machine at the gym? The snack machine."
"Why do Nazis hate Canadian summers? They're mostly Julys."
"What happens when you witness a shipwreck? You let it sink in."
"I was going to tell an anal joke butt fuck it."
"Having survived numerous mysterious strangers attempting to kill him as a child, Hitler swore revenge on a cruel world."
"Boat Bust.Out.Another.Thousand"
"Someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how I feel about that."