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Joke of the Day

"I'm shaking my hands to get my nail polish to dry and now this deaf guy outside wants to know how the story ends."

"I text-ed my girlfriend ""goodnight, love you"" but accidentally sent it to my boss. Now Its awkward, cause he holds my hand during meetings."

"Today's the day I finally get my shit togethe"

"What's my favorite machine at the gym? The snack machine."

"Why do Nazis hate Canadian summers? They're mostly Julys."

"What happens when you witness a shipwreck? You let it sink in."

"I was going to tell an anal joke butt fuck it."

"Having survived numerous mysterious strangers attempting to kill him as a child, Hitler swore revenge on a cruel world."

"Boat Bust.Out.Another.Thousand"

"Someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how I feel about that."