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Joke of the Day

"*dies* *gets to heaven* *sees furries everywhere* Me: What the... Jeebus: Hell hath no furry, man *laughs, puts on giraffe costume*"

"If a tree falls down, and only a women hears it. What the fuck was a tree doing in the kitchen?"

"Went to the doctors and told him l was suffering from premature ejaculation. He asked how does your wife feel about it? I said she took it on the chin the first time but now its getting on her tits..."

"How do you know if an introvert likes you? He looks at your shoes instead of his"

"Why is a baker's dozen 13 instead of 12? In case one dozen come out right."

"How to make holy water You boil the hell out of it."

"My fear of dogs went away after I dated my ex Cause she was a total bitch"

"My girlfriend's dad just gave me the green light. Which was very generous, but I don't find him sexy."

"Sometimes I make myself feel important by thinking in a British accent."

"I saw my local theatre advertising a night of XXX Roman plays... I thought ""ooo, sounds sexy,"" so I went along, but was disappointed. It turned out to just be thirty plays."