139991

Joke of the Day

"What did Marvin Gaye's dad say to him on his birthday? Son, if this is another tie, I'm gonna kill you."

"The man who invented AutoCorrect has died. Restaurant in piece."

"Even though I'm a guy I still get nervous when I pee on a pregnancy test."

"replace the chair in the Oval Office w/slightly bigger chair every day for next 4 yrs til trump looks tiny + his feet don't touch the ground"

"Bones - joke Doctor: Did you know that there are more than 1,000 bones in the human body? Larry: Shhh, doctor! There are three dogs outside in the waiting room!"

"Why don't cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs."

"How many minutes after someone's fired is it cool to take their stapler?"

"A man walks into a library to check out a book for men with small penises. The librarian looks on her computer and says, ""I don't know if it's in yet."" ""Yeah that's the one"""

"Are you a sheep cause your body is unbaaaaalievable"

"The Dress Joke ""Did you hear about that blue and black dress?"" ""No, what about it?"" ""Turns out it was white and gold."" ""Oh thaaat one."""