110123

Joke of the Day

"Are you a sheep cause your body is unbaaaaalievable"

"Whats black and sits at the top of the stairs? Steven Hawking in a house fire."

"I tried to reason with the poop smudge in my toilet bowl. The whole thing was pointless, it just got pissed off anyway."

"They should make a movie where a guy takes someone's Ph.D. thesis, edits it one paragraph at a time and turns it into a completely new thesis. It should be called Ship of Thesis."

"I wonder if George Michael was a organ donor So he could really give his heart to someone special this Christmas."

"I think the bloke next to me is gay. I'm trying to take a shit, but he keeps giving me looks. I'll try the next urinal."

"What's the difference between a guy wearing a bullet proof vest and the English football team? The guy would survive the first round."

"LPT: Be thorough with everything you do and you'll struggle not to succeed!"

"What movie did Leonardo DiCaprio's dog recently star in? The Woof of Wall Street."

"Meatloaf will do anything for love, but he won't lose weight."