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Joke of the Day

"They say us men all think with our dicks... but all I want is a woman who will blow my mind."

"What do you get when you cross an elephant and a grape? Elephant grape sine theta"

"You think YOUR economy is bad? Around here the hookers are giving free blowjobs just to get something hot on their bellys!"

"What should you do with your sick pig? make it into cured bacon"

"Skrillex! It's your cousin Marvin. Marvin Skrillex! Know that sound you've been looking for? I think I found it! *holds phone up to blender*"

"It is a good thing butt cracks are vertical... If they were horizontal, we would hear clapping every time someone used the stairs."

"What is cheese's favorite music genre? R and Brie"

"Why did the Cell Tower Cafe get bad reviews? Because the service was horrible."

"He told me he wanted a dirty girl so I didn't shower for two weeks. Now he won't return my calls. Forget women, MEN and their mixed signals!"

"Even though his lawyer had told him to check the fine print, he hadn't expected this: it was the SEXIEST print he'd seen in years."