13996

Joke of the Day

"How do astronomers plan a party? they planet."

"Shoulder Devil: So I say ""Go on--do it!"" And the moron does it! Shoulder Angel: What an idiot! Me: You guys know I can hear you, right?"

"I've been dying to see Age of Ultron But then I just googled ""How old is Ultron"" and found out he's 47. Saved me $10."

"Flight attendant: ""will you perform exit row duties in the event of an emergency?"" Me: ""yes"" In my head: ""No we're all gonna die"""

"Why does Trump like French music? Because he likes to grab them by Debussy."

"Did you heard about the elephant that was a hoarder? He had a lot of junk in the trunk. Come on, be easy on me, I made that up myself while staring at elephants at the zoo yesterday."

"How do you make an English Muffin blush? You nook at its crannies."

"My body is well defined. Look up the word ""Flabby""."

"A man walks into a library and asks for a book on tides. The librarian says, ""I'm sorry sir, that's just gone out."""

"Where did L Ron Hubbard store his dishes? In the L Ron cupboard."