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Joke of the Day

"Every time I get an eyelash in my eye, I'm reminded of how quickly I would die in the wild."

"Why did the baker go to work? He kneaded the dough!"

"What would ISIS be if George Bush was still president? WASWAS"

"As I drop my child off to her first day of school it reminds me of how my mom dropped me off as well...except mom was ticketed for littering"

"When a 230 lb man yells from the shower for a towel, but you hand him a face cloth, he won't find it nearly as funny as you do."

"My neighbor got an iPad! I know this because I always steal his mail. My new iPad is awesome!"

"Did you hear about the guy who nearly drowned in a bowl of muesli? He was saved by a strong currant."

"Why do people in France have to eat frog legs that ""taste like chicken""? If they eat real chicken they'll be arrested for cannibalism. Edit: grammar"

"Kleptomaniacs really don't understand jokes Because they always takes things literally."

"Whoever invented grass must be a billionaire that stuff is everywhere"