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Joke of the Day
"Do you want to know why I dropped out of Communism class? I had bad marx."
Next Joke
"Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause that's as far as I could kick it."
"Did you hear about the secret cure for everything that the government doesn't want us to know about? Exactly..."
"Startup idea: a gym named Resolution that runs for the 1st month of the year, collects subscription fee, then converts to a bar named Regret"
"There's a spider that's been in the same place on my living room wall for an hour so he's essentially also watching Shrek."
"Today I heard a guy on the street say, ""It's chowder season, baby!"" so I pushed him in front of a bus because those are awesome last words"
"Nothing says ""I've given up"" like a fat person with a stomach tattoo."
"Yo momma joke Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, ""I need your weight not your phone number."""
"If you're not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator?"
"Lite: the new way to spell ""Light,"" now with 20% fewer letters!"