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Joke of the Day
"We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris."
Next Joke
"Every snack you make, every meal you bake, every bite you take, I'll be watching you. Dog"
"What's Mario's favorite fruit? Peach."
"Jesus dies for our sins? No, no, no... He died for YOUR sins. I haven't touched a goat inappropriately since third grade."
"My friend got a dog for his wife. I told him it was a fair trade."
"What do vampires put on their turkey at Christmas ? Grave-y !"
"Shaved my legs for the 1st time in forever today. It was like taking a bulldozer to the rainforest. Birds flying out, villagers scattering."
"Life is like a box of chocolates... It ends quicker for fat people."
"One person's trigger warning... ...is another person's spoiler alert."
"Did you know when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown but only 4 to extend your arm and punch them in the face."