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Joke of the Day

"People got tired of my lactation joke I kept milking it."

"What do you call a C-average student from Texas? Mr. President"

"Dark and or Offensive :] I don't know where I stand on abortion. I like killing babies, but I don't like giving women a choice."

"I bought a parrot... And it could talk. But it did not say ""I'm hungry."" So it died."

"Why did the snowman have his pants down? Because he heard the snowblower was coming."

"What's a married couples favorite sex position? Doggy Style. The husband sits up and begs, while the wife rolls over and plays dead."

"What's the coldest part of a man's body? His balls. Two below."

"A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often."

"I'd like to execute g0d. But how can you execute vacuum."

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl use the bathroom? The ""p"" is silent."