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Joke of the Day

"No one is more productive than a guy who's been laying on the couch for two hours and suddenly realizes his wife will be home in 5 minutes."

"Did you hear about jared from subway? ""Yea he lost like 200 pounds"""

"She told me she'd do anything for 20 bucks. Guess who just got his Mustang washed."

"So a baby seal walks into a club ..."

"Any wedding can be a fairy tale wedding if you serve porridge and release three angry bears into the reception hall"

"My wife's been missing for two weeks and the police said to prepare for the worst. So I went to the Goodwill and got her clothes back."

"What's the difference between a blimp and 1,000 blowjobs? One was a Good Year and one was a great year"

"My daughter told me she wants to be a secret agent. Based on that alone, I don't think she'd be a good secret agent."

"Why wasn't Cinderella good at sports? Because her coach was a pumpkin"

"If a tree falls in the forest... ...and Linkin Park was playing a concert adjacent to that tree, in the end, does it even matter?"