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Joke of the Day

"A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his belt... The bartender asks: ""What the hell is a steering wheel doing there?"" the pirate replies: ""Arr, it's been driving me nuts"""

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"Why did the scale decide that the scam artists were heavier than the novels? Because the cons outweighed the prose."
"Tequila everyday keeps sobriety away"
"What do you call a cavator that isnt a cavator anymore? an EXcavator"
"WHAT KIND OF BAND PLAYS SNAPPY MUSIC? A RUBBER BAND."
"Idea: ""Celebrity Price Is Right"" where Gwyneth Paltrow guesses that loaves of bread cost $460"
"Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween. I guess they don't appreciate random people knocking at their doors all the time."
"What's another term for anal bleaching? Changing your ringtone"
"What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck"
"What do you call a deaf gynaecologist? A lip reader"