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Joke of the Day

"What did one sandstorm at a nude beach say to the other? Haboob"

"Why isn't there any knock knock jokes about the United States? Because freedom doesn't knock. It rings."

"Sleeping in could easily be my superpower. If not for my arch-nemesis, having to pee."

"I asked a Southeast-Asian-looking elderly gentleman if he was from Thailand. He said, ""Yeah, Siam."""

"I just took an IQ test and apparently I'm a Libra?"

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I wouldn't pay money to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"Hey girl, are you a derivative? Because I'd like to examine the slope of your curves"

"In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris."

"As we stripped off jumping into the bed I said to my boyfriend, ""Can you give me a minute?"" ""Why? Want to freshen up?"" He asked. ""No,"" I replied. ""Its just that last time you only gave me 30 seconds."""

"8yo Me: *sneaks candy* 14yo Me: *sneaks cigarettes* 18yo Me: *sneaks alcohol* 43yo Me: *sneaks candy* Being an adult is stupid."