139189

Joke of the Day

"It's getting colder and colder outside, and my wife does nothing but looks through the window. If it goes on like this any longer, I think I will have to let her in."

"I'm writing a book on how to be sneaky... ...It's a lurk in progress."

"My Mother worries about me living in London sometimes. I tell her it's not London she has to worry about. I just injured myself on a potato."

"The pen is mightier than the sword ...except in basically every real life battle scenario"

"[rap battle] [my opponent attempts to drop the mic, but I stealthily tied it to his finger so it just comes back up like a yo-yo]"

"What has four legs and goes ""Oom! Oom!""? A cow walking backwards!"

"I'm at my most brilliant when the door says ""pull"" and I don't believe it."

"How do you circumcise a redneck? You kick his sister in the jaw."

"Hey, are you a broadleaved deciduous hardwood tree? BIRCH I MIGHT BE"

"There are 10 kinds of people in this world: Those who understand binary and those who don't."