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Joke of the Day

"I think I might be a genius! My nephew has a 12 piece jigsaw puzzle that says 3-5 years on the box and I managed to complete it in just 7 hours!"

"Why shouldn't you make abortion jokes? It's always too soon."

"It takes a village to raise a child so I dropped the kids off at my neighbors house with a note: ""your turn"""

"I was feeling depressed. . I was feeling depressed so I went to the doctor to get a blood test. A week later he called me back with the results and said B positive, it's in your blood."

"I wish someone would leave a horse's head in my bed so that when my kids sneak up on me in the morning, I can be like, BAM, horse's head."

"If you eat enough ice cream your clothes will shrink. Weeeeird."

"I'll never forget the last thing my grandpa told me before he kicked the bucket. He said ""Watch how far I can kick this bucket!"""

"It's sad that we live in a world where we'll add a word to the dictionary if stupid people use it enough."

"It's funny when you tell someone that you don't like people, they always think you mean other people."

"What did Moses say when he wanted to see through his door? Let my peephole grow!"