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Joke of the Day

"School is like a boner, long and hard. Unless you're Asian."

"I saw your link on Facebook. What happened next will blow your mind.......I didn't open it."

"I tried to find out why my cat kept licking itself... turns out its actually quite tasty."

"When 13 witches collectively fart in a cauldron and quickly cover it with a lid... *lowers shades* ...Dutch Coven."

"Why is the cinematography of pornos so impressive? Because it's all done one handed."

"You're breaking up with me because I ""don't put food in the correct things?"" WTF? After I've JUST made you a delicious bowl of toast??"

"I don't kill flies but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes. They freak out and yell, ""Whoa! I'm way too high!"" -Bruce Baum"

"[making flamingos] God: bird. Adam: got it. G: but it stand still a lot. A: ok.. G: on one leg. A: how high are you? G: make it pink."

"What not to do on a first date: ask what gender they are."

"The Holy Liar A: ""I dont trust in god."" B: ""You're an atheist? :o"" A: ""No, i think he's a liar."""