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Joke of the Day

"How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A fish..."

"I wanted to drive to the shop to buy some guacamole I didn't avocado"

"The hardest part about being a kick ass dude is wiping the poo from your kick ass boot after a hard day of work."

"DID YOU KNOW? I am superior to all human beings -- except people."

"Seeing twin toddler red haired girls on leashes in Target was my birth control reminder for the day."

"I thought I wanted to get married again. Then I laughed and remembered why I shouldn't think."

"3yr old had a urine test today so we gave him smarties for peeing in a cup. Now he and his brother are pissing in EVERYTHING for more candy."

"A triangle exploded and a piece hit me. It was a 60-debris angle."

"What do you call a Jamaican guy on the internet? A digimon."

"With the new Disney-Lucas Films merger... ... is Leia a Disney princess?"