138866

Joke of the Day

"If you piss me off in the grocery store I will get in line in front of you and pay for a single banana with a personal check"

"My fitness goal is just to get down to the weight that I lied about on my drivers license."

"Do you know what evil kisses sound like? Muah hahaha"

"Why did Jennifer cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing her seat belt"

"Manslaughter. The sound of a man laughing?"

"If you come up to my bedroom door and find a sock on the knob it means I'm having sex. Probably with the other sock."

"I wish my wife were more like the Cleveland Browns. She'd work out all week and suck dick every Sunday."

"If you ever see a creepy clown... Go for the juggler"

"What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car, outside of a planned parenthood center? Having to go inside and ask for a coat-hanger."

"F*CK You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You And You "