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Joke of the Day

"If you piss me off in the grocery store I will get in line in front of you and pay for a single banana with a personal check"

"How did ISIS do on their French test? They bombed it..."

"I did so much yard work today, I might get deported."

"I just found out gorgonzola is a type of cheese, not a dinosaur. Needless to say, my gorgonzola salad was a huge let down."

"A real Picasso painting declared a forgery by a fake authenticator... ...is art officially artificial according to an artificial art official."

"What I learned from Titanic was that you need to have sex as soon as possilble with the person you like cause you never know what might happen."

"A man working at an airport control tower when he notices a crash about to happen. He called the airplane crash hotline: 911."

"My friend asked me if I had a blast on my birthday. I told him I had such a blast, ISIS would have been proud!"

"What's the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of paws and the other has a pause at the end of clause"

"I looked at my girlfriend this morning... And said, ""Hey babe! Name me a [hypocorism](http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/hypocorism)."" To which she rolled her eyes and said, ""Honey..."""