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Joke of the Day

"Why does it take so long for pirates to learn the alphabet They could spend years at Sea!"

"3 Best Uses for Oven Timers: 1. Remind you of beer in the freezer 2. Pizza rolls 3. Notify guests when their time's up & they should leave"

"bangs are just a poor woman's botox."

"The grocery store employees who stock the milk from behind the coolers don't like it when you grab their hands just to see if they're clean."

"An Englishman, an Irishman and a Welshman all walk into a bar the barman looks up at them, shakes his head and says ""is this some kind of a joke?"""

"I think my bank is trying to get me to become a gymnast. They keep sending me letters about my outstanding balance."

"Got EM DEEZ NUTZ"

"Jewish Joke About Warm Weather . Dude. It was so hot, I swear that I'd convert to Christianity for the Baptism."

"Women on their periods make me angry... ...I was loking up my wife's skirt last night and the red mist descended over my eyes."

"My boss wants to take me to lunch... I ask him, ""Where do you want to go? Are burgers cool?"" He said, ""I'll eat pretty much anything, except for fish."" I reply, ""Your poor wife"""