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Joke of the Day

"I hope there's a scientist somewhere in the world right now working on a way for Coldplay to get more whoa-oh-ohs into a 3 minute pop song."

"The inventor of the doorbell OBVIOUSLY did not own a dog."

"Mom: Wanna help gift rap? Me: In West Philadelphia born and raised on the playgro-- oh you mean WRAP? Nah homegirl you're on your own."

"""Hello welcome to meteorologist school. Please stick your head out of the nearest window and pick your diploma up on your way out."""

"Life on mars found... To be unlikely."

"After my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, I decided to start thinking about names. In the end I went for Juan Carlos and hopped on the next flight to Spain."

"It's the little differences that can be the most important. For example, the difference between getting laid at your high-school reunion and getting laid at your family reunion."

"Shakira's hips just told me 9/11 was an inside job and now I don't know what to believe."

"My girlfriend said she wants me to make her feel like shes the only girl in the world. So i'm gonna drop her off in the desert and leave"

"Relationship between men and women is psychological. She is psycho and he is logical."